Two years, seven months, eight days since my last post.  That's a while.  A few things have changed.

I'm a writer... yeah. 

So I'll be back in the saddle soon.  Lots of stuff swirling in the noggin, waiting to be set free.

You've been warned...

;o)

Summertime Blues

So I officially have the blues. I'm tired of having the blues. Summer is supposed to be fun and engaging... and for me it's just, well, HOT.

I love having my kids home from school. I know that. They are what keeps me going. Seriously. If I didn't have them, I would probably be destitute under a bridge somewhere. I just wish we had the means to do fun things with them. Not that everything fun costs money. But lots of fun things do. We're a week and a half into summer and we've already exausted the fun free stuff.

My hubby is struggling at work with changes... or lack of changes... brought on by his boss's resignation. It has caused so much turmoil and frustration I don't even know what to do with that. I just wish a resolution would come so that we could move forward... regardless of the outcome. Staying stuck in yuckville isn't my idea of a healthy life...

I really want to do something productive with my life, but I am truly at a loss as to what to choose or where to begin. I want to contribute financially to our household, but I very firmly believe my first obligation is to my kids and husband. A traditional job would interefere with that... so where does that leave me?

Having said that, and out of utter desperation, I applied for a job today. A job I don't even want. But I did it, so we'll see what happens.

My heart's desire is to get my real estate license, but that costs money too. Between surgeries and extensive dental work this spring, there's no extra cash for anything. So no matter how badly I want to work in real estate and help contribute to our financial stability, there's always something holding me back.

Side note: I need to lose weight. A ton of it. Soon.

Too many mountains to climb, for sure. Just thinking about all of that makes me too tired to get up and do any of it.

Here's hoping I will trust in God's will and find the willpower to do something.

Overdue

I don't even know how so much time can pass without even looking at this blog...

I think I have been hiding from myself. Hiding from what lies within that I might actually put out there.

Last year was utter chaos. Nothing horrible, nothing fabulous... just chaotic.

This year already feels that way too, although I am trying to ignore it. Ready for something different... don't have a clue what that is.

Wanna open a business. A real one this time.

Wanna write a book. No topic to write about yet. Maybe I could write about not knowing what to write about.

Gotta go tend to kiddos and homework. Meetings later that will add to the chaos.

Calgon, take me away...

Pray For Me...

Tomorrow morning I am embarking on a new journey. It's time to make some life changing decisions (mostly health related), and it's going to be hard. I know it's going to be hard because I've tried this before and never had the strength to see it through.

I'll admit I'm lazy by nature, and what I'm attempting to do doesn't work well with laziness.

I will need willpower, determination, strength, and lots of grace for this to work. My kids are my inspiration and although that sounds like enough, it will take dying to myself and relying on Christ to lead me every moment of every day.

Prayers accepted... any kind, any place, any way... I will take them all! :)

Big News!

I almost forgot the most important recent development in my life!

Zack accepted Jesus as his personal savior! What an answer to prayer! He's so excited about it and sweet... listening to his shaky little voice pray to Jesus to come live in his heart and save him from his sins so he won't have to go "down to the bad place" just touched my heart like nothing ever has!

Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus for loving us so much!

I can't wait to see him grow in the Lord. We're working through a book our pastor gave him to help him understand and solidify his decision before he gets baptized. When we discussed baptism, he said, "Mom, I don't even care if I get my clothes wet!" :)

Time Flies

Wow. It's been a while since I posted. Since then things have been crazy, but that's life!

AJ's mom didn't have surgery. They ran into complications, and are going to pursue radiation instead. Hopefully that will do the job, but only time will tell. Still waiting to hear when this will transpire.

AJ has been crazy busy at work. We haven't seen much of him in the past couple of months between work and his night classes. Thankfully, he finished his class last week and work is slowing down a bit, so hopefully he will be home more!

Baby Kenly Rae, my new niece, was born on March 5. The kids and I were able to go see them during spring break. She is precious, of course, and she and her mom and dad are doing well.

Also got to see the rest of my siblings and parents that weekend, which was nice. The trip ended on a weird note, mostly because I can't keep my mouth shut, but otherwise it was really good to see everyone. Apparently I am more of a drama queen than I thought.

I am addicted to Facebook quizzes. I know, what a nerd. But they're fun and whimsical and just a nice break from grown up life. Maybe I have too much time on my hands, but I'm enjoying it nonetheless.

My Signature Homestyles business has hit a roadblock. People seem excited about the products, but no one wants to have a show. I know the economy is iffy right now, but come on folks! I see people loading up their carts and shopping bags with household items at Walmart, Target, Lowe's, the mall... and they're spending MONEY on those items. I can offer them awesome items FOR FREE. What's the deal? I need bookings to keep the ball rolling, and even if they don't want to do live shows, I can offer the option to do catalog shows. Catalog shows are awesome because I don't have to be there... so they can be done anywhere, anytime! All it takes is the "host" showing a catalog to the people they come into contact with and taking orders. At any rate, I need to do something before I get completely discouraged and give up.

We have plans to do some home improvements around here. Hopefully that will work out soon. It's daunting... it will require refinancing the house, getting a home improvement loan, etc... But we need to get some things done to make it more functional.

Somehow I got roped in to being assistant VBS director this summer. I know it will be fun, but at this very moment I am not looking forward to the preparation. Lots to do, with little time to do it.

As much as I would love to sit here all day and continue the list of things going on in my life, I need to go do "real" stuff! Besides, I need to spend some time on facebook before I do chores! LOL! :)

Prayer

Today is going to be a long day. AJ's mom is currently in surgery at Zale Lipshy in Dallas. She's having her brain tumor removed. She will be in surgery for 5 hours and in ICU for 24 hours.

AJ's there with his dad and one of his sisters. The kids are missing him and they know something's not right.

Zoe's sick... running fever and coughing.

I'm a worry-wart no matter how hard I try not to be.

Going back to prayer...