* So I deleted my political post from last week. I was feeling political then, and I'm not now, so it's gone. I still have some strong opinions about all of that, but I decided I didn't want to air those opinions here.
* Today I'm battling feeling like a stuck up loser among my circle of friends. That doesn't happen to me often, and it's starting to get under my skin. I know I'm not a loser, but several events and conversations this week have left me questioning my value system and whether or not I'm stuck up.
Actually it's not really MY values in question, but how I react to other people's values I guess.
I guess I just don't understand why it's not okay for me to want more out of my life than whatever the status quo happens to be. This week I have heard people criticize the wealthy while complaining about being poor. I've heard some bad mouth others for dressing too nicely. In fact, I had someone tell me that I dress my daughter too cute... that I'm teaching her that what's on the outside is more important than what's on the inside. I've heard the neverending lamenting over the country's economic crisis followed by a narative on how wonderful it is to have food stamps. I've been made to feel guilty about my family's private health insurance offered by my husband's employer (which we pay a hefty sum for), and then listened to stories of those same critics getting their kids' healthcare paid for by the government. I had someone ask me their opinion about living in a certain questionable area of town just to disregard my opinion and tell me someone else told them not to worry... that's what the police are for. ?!
Quite frankly, I've heard enough. And on a slightly political note, no bailout plan will do anything for a society that doesn't see their individual contributions to the problem. Got nailed for that comment this week too.
People who know my background know that I didn't grow up in an affluent home. We had everything we needed, but nothing extravagant. People who know me now know I don't live high on the hog these days either. But there is a definite difference in my way of thinking than most of the people I deal with on a regular basis.
I guess I just maintain a higher level of standards than those in my "circle of friends" these days. I didn't know higher standards categorized me as high maintenance. I guess because I continually look for ways to improve our standard of living, I'm doing my family an injustice. Nevermind the fact that I am a bargain hunter and penny pincher and pay attention to what's going on around me so I don't miss out on good opportunities. It's not material things that are important to me, but I do want the very best for myself and my family that life has to offer. And nevermind the fact that compared to folks on the other side of town, my life would look pretty pitiful and insignificant.
So sue me. You won't get much. But it might be worth it to take me to court just to see if you could take away what I do have so then at least we'd be even.
Does that make me stuck up? Or evil, or un-Christian? I know it doesn't, but geez. Enough's enough!
I don't know. I can't even put all these thoughts down here because that's how jumbled my head is about all of this.
I just know that when the way I live and the values I live by are questioned by my own peers, that's a sad reflection of society. We have what we need and live frugally and sparingly. I'm tolerant of others and compassionate to those less fortunate. I guess I hadn't realized that out of most of the people I deal with nowadays, my family is better off than most of them. And that's sad, because we're not that well off.
But why would anyone choose bashing those with more than they have, or as a group stoop to lowering their own standards and values, over doing something to make their own situation better? That's what we've done. Little by little, step by step, we have forged ahead to make our life better than it was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, even yesterday.
So I guess because I want to continually improve my own situation, that makes me stuck up.
Oh well. That's a new one. Wouldn't those "stuck up" girls from high school, or my friends that live on the "rich" side of town get a laugh out of that???
2 comments:
Well, all I have to say is that I don't have any money, but you can be sure that my kid will be dressed cute, too, because if I'm gonna have a kid that gets made fun of for being fat, they won't be made fun of for being fat and dressing ugly, that's for sure!
You do what you feel God has led you to be right for your family. You've been raised to hold yourself accountable, and you've seen that example. Unfortunately, not everyone has been that blessed, and the only example they have is what you are living before them now. That's not to put pressure on you, but to encourage you to keep standing up for yourself. Use scripture, too, because there are a lot of examples of good business sense in the Word.
You are right to be frustrated!
But let it spur you on...you and AJ are doing a great job!
I'm still frustrated about this, but I'm working on it. A friend of mine reminded me that sometimes people just can't get past their own selfish desires and therefore have to attack anyone who seems to have it better.
As Mary Poppins once said, "Sometimes a person we love through no fault of his own can't see past the end of his nose."
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