Wow. It's Monday. Seems like the weekend was WAY too short. We were busy this weekend, but in a good way.
Friday afternoon AJ took a couple of hours off and we went mattress shopping. You have to understand that we have never owned a new mattress, so this was an adventure! I was a little worried about taking the kids along since kids tend to want to climb all over things and whatnot, but I discovered that mattress shopping really isn't so bad with them. I mean, you can't really tell them not to climb on the bed displays when mom and dad are wallering around on them! I guess the salespeople expect that seeing how people need to know how the mattress feels if they are going to buy one.
The kids were disappointed that I wouldn't entertain the idea of purchasing the bunk beds with a SLIDE on the end for them. Yes, that's right. The bed had a SLIDE. Now tell me, just how much sleeping goes on in a bed with a slide???
Anyway, we had a good time. We looked at furniture too and I'm still recovering from sticker shock on some of the bedroom sets we saw. There are some beautiful pieces of furniture out there... a style and color for every taste. But I'm kinda cheap... so I can't fathom spending that kind of money on something I don't really NEED right now. Besides, I could buy a pretty nice used car for the same money! LOL! (Reminds me of a joke, "You can sleeps in yo car, but you can't drives yo furniture!")
We did end up buying a mattress. I let AJ pick it out. He's the one who's been having trouble sleeping. I could sleep anywhere, anytime, so I wasn't much help. I tried them all out too though, and told him at one point (while I was laying on a particularly comfy one) if he didn't make up his mind soon, I would prove to them I could sleep anywhere, anytime! :)
A friend of ours helped AJ pick up the mattress on Saturday. I posted the old set on Freecycle (check it out if you haven't already, there's usually a group in most cities: http://www.freecycle.org/) and within three minutes of the post someone called and asked if they could come look at it. By the time AJ got back with the new mattress, the people had already picked up the old ones! Gotta love Freecycle.
So after laundering the new sheets (the price on these caused another case of sticker shock...), and getting the bed set up, we slept like babies!
Sunday was awesome. Yesterday was the final chapter of the couples class AJ and I have been teaching. We led a group through the book, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti, by Bill and Pam Farrel, over the past seven weeks. It was a good study and we had a really good time doing it. So after the morning service, we treated our class to a spaghetti lunch at the church. We had a good time visiting and laughing about some of the truths we learned and capped it off with ice cream in waffle cone bowls to complete the theme. If you're interested, check out the book here: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?event=AFFp=&item_no=919619&session_id=1456965
Yesterday evening we had a chili cookoff at church which was also a lot of fun (although I'm sure there are several of us paying for it today!) We ate chili and had a good time of fellowship followed by an AWESOME performance of the Gospel Bluegrass band Triple "L" out of Portales, NM. They are made up of a mom, dad and three sons who have all been blessed with superb musical talent. I admit I'm a little bit of a hick and I actually LIKE bluegrass, but I don't know how anyone could not appreciate the amazing abilities these folks displayed. It was so much fun and such an uplifting, light-hearted experience to hear them play. Check them out here: http://www.triplelband.com/
So although we had a busy weekend, it was fun and was over way too soon. However, I was THRILLED to walk out into the nippy fall air this morning when I took Zack to school. Thank heavens for cold fronts! Maybe fall is here after all!
Where the rubber meets the road, the daily hits the grind, and the you-know-what sometimes hits the fan... and we still manage to live and learn together as a FAMILY!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
It's Okay to Be ME
For the past few months I have not been feeling like myself. We’ve had a lot going on around our house, but that’s not really the root of the problem. Much of my frustration stems from trying to iron out my spiritual life. Relationships with my friends, both believers and non-believers, weigh heavy on my heart and add to my confusion. Uncomfortable situations and unspoken division within my local body of believers forces me to look at issues I’d rather leave alone.
But for some reason today I woke up feeling different. It was almost like a light suddenly came on and everything fell back into place.
This is the part where some might think I am going to say I had one of those “come to Jesus” moments where I’ve repented everything wrong in my life and now I’ve been “set free.” Well, don’t hold your breath, because that’s not entirely the case.
For a long time now I have felt like I needed to do some drastic changing to be the person God wants me to be. I’ve watched how other believers live and fell into the mentality that unless I was like them, I wasn’t all that I should be. Whether intentional or not, Christians often have lofty expectations of each other, and I’ll venture out on a limb here and say that most people probably never meet up to those expectations. And because they know they don’t meet those expectations, they are discouraged and fall even further away from where they need to be spiritually. I fell victim to that vicious cycle.
I felt because I wasn’t “up to par” with some of the “big dogs” in my circle, I wasn’t adequate. And suddenly today, like a 2x4 to the head, God said, “Adequate to WHO?”
I realized that all this time I have been worried about what these people think. I’ve worried about how I can be just like them, when in reality, it’s okay just to be me. God loves me because I’m me. Not because I’m trying to be like someone else. As long as things are straight between me and God, why should what others think even matter?
Let me interject and say that I know these people probably have no idea I thought I needed to be like them. It’s not their fault. In a sick and twisted effort, Satan used their strengths to prey upon my weaknesses, and I unknowingly let him. Well, “get thee behind me Satan!” I’m on to you now.
Not everyone is cut out to have the same visions, or agree on everything. Not everyone is going to see things the same way or have the same opinions. And for the first time in a long time, I truly believe that it’s okay.
I’m not saying there isn’t room for positive growth in my life. No one’s life is perfect, so there’s always room for improvement. There are areas in my life that need work. Those areas have been identified, but they were identified by God, not by man. My personal relationship with God allows for His divine plan and purpose for my life. He has impressed upon me areas that need improvement, and I truly believe I will always be a work in progress.
I don’t have any profound answers about the big questions of life. I try not to be too profound… especially about spiritual matters. I’ll leave that for the folks wiser than I who enjoy imparting their wisdom to others. Not that I’m selfish and don’t want to share my knowledge with others. I just don’t push it on people. If you ask me, I’ll tell you what I know. If I don’t know, I’ll find someone who does. In my opinion, too many believers talk when they should be listening. And sometimes the best advice is to say nothing.
I’m no expert on spirituality, but I do know this. Putting too many rules, limitations, or even too lofty expectations on spiritual growth will stunt it. Mine has been stunted somewhat by others’ (unintentional, I’m sure) expectations for the direction my life needs to go. For a long time I felt like because I wasn’t living like those people or doing what they did, I was no good.
Not so. I am who I am. In turn, my husband is who he is. We are not perfect. We stumble. We make mistakes. We fall. We take that up with God, not man. That doesn’t give us free reign to run off and do stupid things just because… we know our responsibilities and what God expects of us.
We’re a little rougher around the edges than some, yet more conservative than others. We laugh at bodily functions and yell when we’re mad. We let our kids drink sodas and watch Spongebob. We listen to whatever music suits our mood at the time and read books written by secular authors. We watch all kinds of movies, not just the ones rated PG. We like expensive real estate and fast cars. We drive too fast and live harder than some of our counterparts, but we are still Christians. We still believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God, and we try to instill those values in our kids.
But trying to be people we aren’t, or do things the way others do them, hasn’t worked for us. We may never be “Bible thumpers.” We may never be radical holy rollers. But just as they are, we are saved by the same grace granted us by the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are capable of having an intimate relationship with Him whether we follow the exact same path our peers do or not.
In trying to emulate others, we have lost ourselves. (I know, we should die to self… It’s not about me, it’s about God… that’s not what I’m getting at...). We lost sight of what made us “US.” We got to a point where life had become boring and monotonous because we were so busy trying to “live” a certain way, we weren’t “living” at all. That in itself was a mistake on our part, but that’s okay.
It’s okay to make mistakes… as long as we learn from them. I know there are many out there who have begun a journey down a less than righteous path. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are many of us who suffer for those mistakes. Some of that suffering is short term, some is much longer. Either way, walking a righteous path is not easy. Anyone who tells you it is, isn’t telling the truth. Our world doesn’t allow it to be easy.
But as the old saying goes, “two negatives DON’T make a positive.” Tearing people down because they don’t live up to our expectations doesn’t make us stronger. It weakens what little strength might have been there to start with.
I’m tired of hearing stories (and some closer to home than we’d like to admit) about one or more believers ridiculing, chastising, suspending or discouraging another believer in the name of “teaching a lesson.” I believe in leading by example, and I fully agree that everyone is responsible for their own actions, but where do you draw the line? “Let him who hath no sin cast the first stone…”
The key isn’t to tear each other down for our faults and mistakes, but to ENCOURAGE each other in our own quest for the truth. We could all point fingers at each other for the habits we have, pastimes we engage in, language we use, tasks we leave undone, promises we break, lies we’ve told… which is all the more reason to check ourselves before we cast that first stone.
Let’s not get so caught up in teaching lessons that the lesson is lost. Let’s not worry so much about what everyone else is doing that we lose sight of what God is trying to tell us about ourselves. I almost did that. But even though it took some time, God straightened me out on His own.
When I woke up this morning it was crystal clear that God wants me to be me. He made me who I am and wants me to enjoy life and His creations and blessings as I live out my time here on Earth. He wants me to live for Him, in that there is no doubt. He wants us to glorify Him by becoming beacons of light. I’m convinced he makes each of our lights shine differently to reach different people. That’s what He wants from all of us… to be lights in the darkness.
There will be many changes in store for me to reach my full potential for Christ throughout my lifetime. I’ll still mess up and struggle… but there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Because it’s okay to be me.
But for some reason today I woke up feeling different. It was almost like a light suddenly came on and everything fell back into place.
This is the part where some might think I am going to say I had one of those “come to Jesus” moments where I’ve repented everything wrong in my life and now I’ve been “set free.” Well, don’t hold your breath, because that’s not entirely the case.
For a long time now I have felt like I needed to do some drastic changing to be the person God wants me to be. I’ve watched how other believers live and fell into the mentality that unless I was like them, I wasn’t all that I should be. Whether intentional or not, Christians often have lofty expectations of each other, and I’ll venture out on a limb here and say that most people probably never meet up to those expectations. And because they know they don’t meet those expectations, they are discouraged and fall even further away from where they need to be spiritually. I fell victim to that vicious cycle.
I felt because I wasn’t “up to par” with some of the “big dogs” in my circle, I wasn’t adequate. And suddenly today, like a 2x4 to the head, God said, “Adequate to WHO?”
I realized that all this time I have been worried about what these people think. I’ve worried about how I can be just like them, when in reality, it’s okay just to be me. God loves me because I’m me. Not because I’m trying to be like someone else. As long as things are straight between me and God, why should what others think even matter?
Let me interject and say that I know these people probably have no idea I thought I needed to be like them. It’s not their fault. In a sick and twisted effort, Satan used their strengths to prey upon my weaknesses, and I unknowingly let him. Well, “get thee behind me Satan!” I’m on to you now.
Not everyone is cut out to have the same visions, or agree on everything. Not everyone is going to see things the same way or have the same opinions. And for the first time in a long time, I truly believe that it’s okay.
I’m not saying there isn’t room for positive growth in my life. No one’s life is perfect, so there’s always room for improvement. There are areas in my life that need work. Those areas have been identified, but they were identified by God, not by man. My personal relationship with God allows for His divine plan and purpose for my life. He has impressed upon me areas that need improvement, and I truly believe I will always be a work in progress.
I don’t have any profound answers about the big questions of life. I try not to be too profound… especially about spiritual matters. I’ll leave that for the folks wiser than I who enjoy imparting their wisdom to others. Not that I’m selfish and don’t want to share my knowledge with others. I just don’t push it on people. If you ask me, I’ll tell you what I know. If I don’t know, I’ll find someone who does. In my opinion, too many believers talk when they should be listening. And sometimes the best advice is to say nothing.
I’m no expert on spirituality, but I do know this. Putting too many rules, limitations, or even too lofty expectations on spiritual growth will stunt it. Mine has been stunted somewhat by others’ (unintentional, I’m sure) expectations for the direction my life needs to go. For a long time I felt like because I wasn’t living like those people or doing what they did, I was no good.
Not so. I am who I am. In turn, my husband is who he is. We are not perfect. We stumble. We make mistakes. We fall. We take that up with God, not man. That doesn’t give us free reign to run off and do stupid things just because… we know our responsibilities and what God expects of us.
We’re a little rougher around the edges than some, yet more conservative than others. We laugh at bodily functions and yell when we’re mad. We let our kids drink sodas and watch Spongebob. We listen to whatever music suits our mood at the time and read books written by secular authors. We watch all kinds of movies, not just the ones rated PG. We like expensive real estate and fast cars. We drive too fast and live harder than some of our counterparts, but we are still Christians. We still believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God, and we try to instill those values in our kids.
But trying to be people we aren’t, or do things the way others do them, hasn’t worked for us. We may never be “Bible thumpers.” We may never be radical holy rollers. But just as they are, we are saved by the same grace granted us by the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are capable of having an intimate relationship with Him whether we follow the exact same path our peers do or not.
In trying to emulate others, we have lost ourselves. (I know, we should die to self… It’s not about me, it’s about God… that’s not what I’m getting at...). We lost sight of what made us “US.” We got to a point where life had become boring and monotonous because we were so busy trying to “live” a certain way, we weren’t “living” at all. That in itself was a mistake on our part, but that’s okay.
It’s okay to make mistakes… as long as we learn from them. I know there are many out there who have begun a journey down a less than righteous path. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are many of us who suffer for those mistakes. Some of that suffering is short term, some is much longer. Either way, walking a righteous path is not easy. Anyone who tells you it is, isn’t telling the truth. Our world doesn’t allow it to be easy.
But as the old saying goes, “two negatives DON’T make a positive.” Tearing people down because they don’t live up to our expectations doesn’t make us stronger. It weakens what little strength might have been there to start with.
I’m tired of hearing stories (and some closer to home than we’d like to admit) about one or more believers ridiculing, chastising, suspending or discouraging another believer in the name of “teaching a lesson.” I believe in leading by example, and I fully agree that everyone is responsible for their own actions, but where do you draw the line? “Let him who hath no sin cast the first stone…”
The key isn’t to tear each other down for our faults and mistakes, but to ENCOURAGE each other in our own quest for the truth. We could all point fingers at each other for the habits we have, pastimes we engage in, language we use, tasks we leave undone, promises we break, lies we’ve told… which is all the more reason to check ourselves before we cast that first stone.
Let’s not get so caught up in teaching lessons that the lesson is lost. Let’s not worry so much about what everyone else is doing that we lose sight of what God is trying to tell us about ourselves. I almost did that. But even though it took some time, God straightened me out on His own.
When I woke up this morning it was crystal clear that God wants me to be me. He made me who I am and wants me to enjoy life and His creations and blessings as I live out my time here on Earth. He wants me to live for Him, in that there is no doubt. He wants us to glorify Him by becoming beacons of light. I’m convinced he makes each of our lights shine differently to reach different people. That’s what He wants from all of us… to be lights in the darkness.
There will be many changes in store for me to reach my full potential for Christ throughout my lifetime. I’ll still mess up and struggle… but there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Because it’s okay to be me.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Gotta Start Somewhere
So I just spent more time looking for a layout for this thing than I will probably ever spend blogging. Typical of my life... I seem to spend way too much time thinking and not enough doing.
As I'm writing this, my washing machine is doing a dance across the laundry room floor... sounds like it could blow up at any moment. Let's hope if it decides to do so, it will wait until tomorrow. There's too much laundry to do today!
I don't know what posessed me to start writing this, other than I'm sure there are lots of other things I should be doing, and my subconsious knows that. The past few months my head has been in another galaxy anyway. I have told several people lately that I haven't felt like myself since July or so.
I know I've had a lot going on, but I can't really place all the blame there. Deeper issues are weighing me down more so than usual. I can usually let everything roll off my back, but these days that is getting harder and harder to do.
I think maybe part of my problem is that I know I have it better than a lot of folks I know. And for that I am very grateful. But recently I have been privvy to several situations with other people that I truly can't fathom how they are still making it. If I were in their shoes, I don't know that I could even get up in the mornings. But that doesn't make my burdens any lighter for ME. So maybe part of it is guilt. Guilt for what I don't know, but anyway... I am starting to ramble.
Everyday concerns associated with life have started to overwhelm me... from housework, to money, to the kids, to my marriage, to church... suddenly it seems like everything takes so much more effort. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I need a vacation... yeah... a weekend in Fredericksburg! That would help at least. Now, to find a bank to rob to fund it! :)
I don't know if I'm cut out for this blogging thing. If I'm going to do this, I need to practice my typing. My mind works way too fast for my fingers!
Well I don't know if that counts as a blog, but laundry beckons so it will have to do...
As I'm writing this, my washing machine is doing a dance across the laundry room floor... sounds like it could blow up at any moment. Let's hope if it decides to do so, it will wait until tomorrow. There's too much laundry to do today!
I don't know what posessed me to start writing this, other than I'm sure there are lots of other things I should be doing, and my subconsious knows that. The past few months my head has been in another galaxy anyway. I have told several people lately that I haven't felt like myself since July or so.
I know I've had a lot going on, but I can't really place all the blame there. Deeper issues are weighing me down more so than usual. I can usually let everything roll off my back, but these days that is getting harder and harder to do.
I think maybe part of my problem is that I know I have it better than a lot of folks I know. And for that I am very grateful. But recently I have been privvy to several situations with other people that I truly can't fathom how they are still making it. If I were in their shoes, I don't know that I could even get up in the mornings. But that doesn't make my burdens any lighter for ME. So maybe part of it is guilt. Guilt for what I don't know, but anyway... I am starting to ramble.
Everyday concerns associated with life have started to overwhelm me... from housework, to money, to the kids, to my marriage, to church... suddenly it seems like everything takes so much more effort. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I need a vacation... yeah... a weekend in Fredericksburg! That would help at least. Now, to find a bank to rob to fund it! :)
I don't know if I'm cut out for this blogging thing. If I'm going to do this, I need to practice my typing. My mind works way too fast for my fingers!
Well I don't know if that counts as a blog, but laundry beckons so it will have to do...
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