Summertime Blues

So I officially have the blues. I'm tired of having the blues. Summer is supposed to be fun and engaging... and for me it's just, well, HOT.

I love having my kids home from school. I know that. They are what keeps me going. Seriously. If I didn't have them, I would probably be destitute under a bridge somewhere. I just wish we had the means to do fun things with them. Not that everything fun costs money. But lots of fun things do. We're a week and a half into summer and we've already exausted the fun free stuff.

My hubby is struggling at work with changes... or lack of changes... brought on by his boss's resignation. It has caused so much turmoil and frustration I don't even know what to do with that. I just wish a resolution would come so that we could move forward... regardless of the outcome. Staying stuck in yuckville isn't my idea of a healthy life...

I really want to do something productive with my life, but I am truly at a loss as to what to choose or where to begin. I want to contribute financially to our household, but I very firmly believe my first obligation is to my kids and husband. A traditional job would interefere with that... so where does that leave me?

Having said that, and out of utter desperation, I applied for a job today. A job I don't even want. But I did it, so we'll see what happens.

My heart's desire is to get my real estate license, but that costs money too. Between surgeries and extensive dental work this spring, there's no extra cash for anything. So no matter how badly I want to work in real estate and help contribute to our financial stability, there's always something holding me back.

Side note: I need to lose weight. A ton of it. Soon.

Too many mountains to climb, for sure. Just thinking about all of that makes me too tired to get up and do any of it.

Here's hoping I will trust in God's will and find the willpower to do something.

Overdue

I don't even know how so much time can pass without even looking at this blog...

I think I have been hiding from myself. Hiding from what lies within that I might actually put out there.

Last year was utter chaos. Nothing horrible, nothing fabulous... just chaotic.

This year already feels that way too, although I am trying to ignore it. Ready for something different... don't have a clue what that is.

Wanna open a business. A real one this time.

Wanna write a book. No topic to write about yet. Maybe I could write about not knowing what to write about.

Gotta go tend to kiddos and homework. Meetings later that will add to the chaos.

Calgon, take me away...